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I have not been feeling at all today. The Depression group did not go well and I did not make it to my other groups. I had a severe migraine that would not go away and I felt nauseous all day. I also felt as if I was going to have an anxiety attack, but thank God I didn't. I really do not want to end up in the hospital again.On a better note though I�found $3 that someone had lost.� I�am sorry for the person that lost the $3, but it was good for me to find $3 because I�need it on Sunday, so my friend and I�can go out to lunch.� Hopefully, the person who lost it will not miss it.� The person dropped it on the ground.� If it had been in a wallet, I�would have found the owner and not kept the money, but since the bills were lying there open, I�didn't ask anyone if they lost some money because they could have said, "Yes,"even if they didn't and it cheered me up anyway.� I don't feel bad for keeping it because I know if I�lost money, someone would have it.� Once I�found $20 in the gutter and another time I�found $10 at school. �That was really cool because I�treated my friend out when I�found $20 and when �I found $10 I�treated my mom and friend out.�



�

SONG!!!!

She was so young,

why did you take her away?

She didn't feel you,

coming close,

Oh, where did she go?

Her stolen innocence,

makes her believe in hate,

her stolen innocence,

can't believe in fate,

her stolen innocence,

makes her afraid,

of you.

She didn't know why,

or the time that past by,

she, couldn't figure out,

why?

now it's her

CX1

She was so young,

why did you,

steal her face?

she could believe in lies,

now is not the time

CX2

REPEAT FIRST VERSE!!!

I had a wonderful day today.� I went to the Write-On group and I really enjoyed it.� It was a lot of fun and I�think that I am going to learn something new.� I also went to the anxiety group, and I really, really liked it too.� It was a pretty good day though I�am disappointed that I�didn't finish the book I�wanted to finish before returning it.

I cant wait till school starts. Im going to see if I can give myself a whole new look. Im sick and tired of the person I am now. I want people to look up to me. And wish they were me.�I want more, better friends, one's that actually care about me! Because right now I cant help but think they secretly dislike me and wish that I would dissapeare. And guess what?

ITS ALL TRUE!!!

I here them all the time. Talking behind my back, How could I�NOT know? I mean really?

So watch out everyone. Im not that sweet and inocent girl everyone loves and knows.

No,�I wont be that girl. The girl who gets pushed around and her heart broken. I�cant do it anymore. I�cant handle it anymore.

I think I may just be ready to come out of my shell once and for all...

No longer will i be walked on, no longer will I hide in the dark as I watch my life fall apart. No longer will I let my life pass me by with out me having a say in what I�want. So here I come, be ready!

Okay.. okay.. i gotta stop freaking out so much when i gain a pound..,.

i checked my bmi online and it says NORMAL. Not overweight... not underweight.. i'm normal.. i just wish i could say that again when i look in the mirror .. or when i eat something loaded with calories.

So... what did I have planned this summer..that i didn't exactly do.

1) i didn't exercise as much as i wanted to...

2) i kept spending money

3)Nope.. no job yet...

okay.

well.. there's always next year. or right now.. since there's still a month left... right? RIGHT???

until next time. .. love

�blahbee

I had a really good day today for most of the day.� I�really enjoy spending time with my new friend Maricia.� She's a good friend and I am blessed to have met her.� God has blessed me so much.�� I�am glad that I�went to the hospital and ended up at Arcadia Mental Health, but� iam also sometimes wishing I�didn't go to the hospital because of the darn bills that I can not pay and do not need the stress of dealing with them right now and I�do not know what to do.

Another day has come &�gone &�you have been on my mind all day! Everyone says I should just let you go but I cant seem to do that. I know in my heart you have moved one�&�may be happier w/o me I just wish I could say the same. If it's not meant to be why wont God take�this pain away. People say date to make you jealous but honestly I have no need or want too. Guys call &�I just push them away. I am still not ready! I love you Mike Boone w/ all my heart &�soul!!!! I am so sorry for all the pain i have caused you. I am so sorry I abadonded you when you needed me most. I only wish you could here these words &�know I mean them. I swear on everything I love I mean them!!!!

Can't believe all the things that my boyfriend and cousin are talking about. It needs to stop. They are talking about my parents supposed sex life. It is so gross and nasty. Anyways that is not why I am writing, I�am writing because I�feel like I�am being pressured to do something and I don't want to do it. Plus people in my family keep telling me to loosen up and I�can't. If I�loosen up then that means I�have to let people in and they can hurt me or use things against me to hurt me. I don't like feeling vulnerable. I�hate this feeling. Plus my boyfriend and my cousin especially like to make fun of me for being so rigid and so to myself. That is just how I�am though. Can I really change? Should I�change?